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The Gadarene Song / My Song

Jesus I guess I'm like
The demoniac that You healed
Like you sprinkled magic on me
Everything stilled
Kind of stunned and starry eyed
I was in a daze
I couldn't move
'Cause my eyes were glued
To the memory of Your gaze

No one, no one
Had ever captured me like that before
Hypnotized by Your touch
I knew I'd follow You forevermore

Then You snapped Your fingers
You said, Wake up child, there's work to do
I command you to go to the people
And tell them what happened to you

But just like that man
From the first time I saw You
I wanted to be with You
My heart hurt within
When you said I couldn't come right then
I'd have to go home as You said
But I'd rather be with You instead
And ever since that day
My hearts' been feeling this way

Jesus I just want to sing
My song to you
My heart it won't be still
Until I do
The rivers are rushing
And the waves are a gushing
Welling up inside of me
Till I've just got to let them be free

Jesus O my Jesus
I want to come home to You
Jesus O my Jesus
My heart is breaking in two
My spirit is longing
Longing to be free
Pulling at everything
Everything inside of me

One day soon
I'll spring forth from my cocoon
I'll spread my wings and fly
Across the sky
My spirit finally free
Like a symphony
The music in my heart will be
Nothing holding me
I'll rest with You eternally

Copyright 1980/Izzy Herriette/Ginger Renken

And sing it!

And sing it!


It’s somewhat a chilling experience, after years and years and years of being covered up, so to speak, even buried alive to put it in first-hand experiential terms and hopefully not to sound slashingly melodramatic or far too descriptive for some, to suddenly have an abrupt, long awaited and even almost ashamedly past due "coming out," exposure and/or unveiling. It seems as though there should be awaiting you something similar to an assemblage resembling a bit of a gaiety and presenting itself in the form of banners waving, symbolic of flagging everyone's attention to your release procession; balloons loosed and floating weightlessly in the mysterious beyond places as representation of your new breezes of freedom; party hats, as an embodiment of it all; noise makers to herald the news, to act as your MC and maybe, dare you be as audacious as to say so, a crowd of banished as a declarative of where you’ve been; all prearranged and haled on your behalf in accordance to the event, cheering you on for finally having a frozen nerve unthaw and naturally act itself out in a way that kicks out it’s captor, thereby thrusting you unaware, into the "Hello, it’s me. I’m alive!" arena.

All the while you the hidden, calculated and yet assumed true captive, stand abandoned in an emotionally "caught" sort of emplacement. You, the overlooked, hidden away always (preferentially), are now out there for the world to seize upon visually at least, and to habitually next, evaluate or devaluate. Thus, shattering the life long, fossilized covenant with the taunting "I told you so!" way of escape lifestyle, offering the such welcome easiness and lending itself for your slipping or fading away quietly and unnoticed into that respite known unto us all, as well as sought out by so many for its sheltering promise; need we reintroduce it in the midst of it’s long-standing reputation? – yes - SOLITARY! And yes, it stands as a rock solid place of protection to those who seek it out and cling to its' walls for the very purpose.

Now aghast, and at last, it is time to brace in order to be able to embrace - this concept:

They refer to this as: an adventure

Before I, the self-preserved one, do anything, I want to know everything. So…

Adventure towards advent:
(Appropriate typestyle name: Gil Sans Ultra Bold)

Adventure: 1) A chance occurrence. 2) The hazarding or encountering of risks. 3) A bold feat or daring undertaking. 4) An unusual incident or exciting experience. 5) A business enterprise, usually one attended by speculation. To venture; stake upon a chance; risk; lay open to danger.

Did you really catch all of that?

(Here is the real way to find the deepest meaning in words!)

Ad: Having motion toward, nearness, addition, or intensification, as in admit, adhere, adjoin, adjudge.

So, having motion toward, adjoining oneself to...

Venture: An undertaking of dangerous or daring nature; an enterprise involving risk, as a business venture. Chance, peril,
speculation, stake.

Venture: To dare, to risk; to expose to chance of loss; to present at risk of incurring criticism, as, to venture an opinion. Adventure, dare, hazard, jeopardize, risk.

"Choosing" to plunge into the fate of these words above!

Plunge: A sudden dive; a headlong fall; a forward rush; a diving location; excessive gambling or speculation.

Plunge: To dive or leap forward; to throw or push into a liquid; to get into difficulties, as to plunge into war or debt; to toss violently as a horse or ship; to rush into action; gamble excessively.

To "intentionally plunge" into this plight

Plight: An unfavorable situation or distressed condition, as, a sorry plight; pledge; engagement.

Plight: To pledge, as, to plight troth, one’s hand, one’s honor; to place in risk of forfeiture.

Unto the end...for the goal:

Any arrival or coming, esp., one of an important nature.

So I’m having motion towards…

Ad: (Same as above) – Having motion toward, nearness, addition, or intensification, as in admit, adhere, adjoin, adjudge.

Vent: A small opening for the escape of air or liquid; an outlet; expression, as, to give and vent to one’s feelings.

Vent: To permit to escape through an opening; to air, as to vent opinions, anger, spite; to provide with a vent or vents.

The outcome?

Nothing gained unless liberty to "be" stands long after you’ve put away from you the raging threatening of humiliation and rejection, which now must flee to take cover in that very place once reserved for and agreeable to you - solitary confinement!

So now, I can finally say, I am!

Am: First person singular, present tense of "be"!

Thank you! I will have that!

Ready, set, go … period!

Izzy Herriette & Co /Ginger Renken

Psalm 63: 4 - Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.

Psalm 63: 4 - Thus will I bless thee while I live:  I will lift up my hands in thy name.

Even As I'm Writing About "Coming Out"...

So, I’m working on this site and I’m telling you that I’m coming out…

Yesterday morning as I was making my bed, I was struggling (as I seem to do, so often anymore) with "who I am in Him – what He’s promised me – everything that He’s promised me"and then, I hear Him; I hear Him say this to me:

Gutter Mutter:

Then He says, "Some people say that they’ve come out of the gutter but what are they muttering about? Still, the gutter! Nothing in them has changed, they’ve just changed positions."

Colossians 1: 12, 13 - Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light. Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son.

I began to ask myself (along with the help of the Holy Spirit, I’m sure) about being delivered from a literal gutter! Shouldn’t I feel completely different about my life, if I really were delivered out of a gutter? Yes, I would! The only reason(s) that I could come up with for not feeling differently, would be:

1) I’m not adjusted to the change
2) I’m bitter for having been in the gutter to begin with
3) I was changed at first but now I’ve taken it for granted
4) I’ve fallen back into the gutter

When we come to Christ, one of the greatest things that can happen to us, is that someone come alongside us immediately and begin to educate us, mentor us, in what has really taken place in our lives through salvation in Jesus Christ!

I tried for years of my life, to get saved. I didn’t understand that you could only come to God by way of His Son, Jesus Christ. I think I may have heard it taught, since I grew up in a church but I wasn’t catching it. I didn’t realize that Jesus was a real person, someone who I truly could and would need to, come to! After years filled with futile attempts, reaching for but never grasping salvation, I finally got it! 1972! I’ll never forget that day! February 5, 1972!

That was the good thing! But then, there was a bad thing! I didn’t get that "alongside" teaching right away. Consequently, although not solely. I went off the deep end! I did not rightly understand the Word of God. I read and read, literally poured over my Bible, for the first six months after my conversion. I had visions, I literally saw Jesus! But I did not have true understanding of the Word of God and/or how to operate within its’ perimeters!

It would be another seven years (1979), years of torment and heartache, before I would finally be blessed to find myself under a pastor who would enlighten my understanding and act as that true shepherd to my life.

My life, at that time, changed dramatically – for the GOOD! I was able to maneuver my way around in the kingdom of God, rightly, and unto a good effect!

Now, years later - twenty-nine to be exact - having gone through some fiery trials, I find myself often, fighting a fight to lay hold on and to maintain that GOOD and having to be very aware of falling into what the above says; Gutter Mutter!

I have not forgotten who I am, in Him. Neither am I remiss about His plans, promises, future and hope for my life! Somehow, though, in the midst of knowing these things, clearly the temptation seems great to gutter mutter! There seems to be, for some reason, a real attack, a season of warring against the increase of God's good promises over and for my life.

I know what I need to do:

2 Peter 1:1 - Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord. According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue. Whereby are given unto us, exceeding great and precious promises, that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue, knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ; but he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure; for if ye do these things, ye shall never fail. For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly, into the everlasting kingdom of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

So…here’s what I learned, yesterday morning, about Gutter Mutter:




Mutter: A low, indistinct utterance, generally ill-natured; a growl.

Mutter: To grumble, to utter in a low indistinct tone and generally in a surly manner.

Surly: Ill-humored, rudely cross, morose. Sullen, sulky, morose.

Morose: Sullen, gloomy.

Sullen: Ill tempered, in a quiet, gloomy way. Somber.

Somber: Meloncholy; dark and gloomy.

Gloomy: Partial darkness, obscurity; a melancholy state, to be or to look gloomy. Dusky; dismal, melancholy; causing, or marked by, gloom.

Does anybody out there ever find themselves operating in anything like this, besides me?




• abundance, that was left

1) abundance, in which one delights

1a) of that which fills the heart

2) that which is left over, residue, remains

• abound, abundance, remain, exceed, increase, be left, redound, misc

1) to exceed a fixed number of measure, to be left over and above a certain number
or measure

1a) to be over, to remain

1b) to exist or be at hand in abundance
1b1) to be great
1b2) a thing which comes in abundance, or overflows
unto one, something falls to the lot of one in a large
1b3) to redound unto,turn out abundantly for, a thing

1c) to abound, overflow
1c1) to be abundantly furnished with, to have in
abundance, about and in (a thing), to be in affluence
1c2) to be pre-eminent, to excel
1c3) to excel more than, exceed

2) to make to abound

2a) to furnish one richly so that he has abundance
2b) to make abundant or excellent

• more, beyond measure, vehemently, more abundantly, advantage, very highly, exceeding abundantly above, exceeding

1) exceeding some number or measure or rank or need

1a) over and above, more than is necessary, super added
1a1) exceeding abundantly, supremely
1a2) something further, more, much more than all, more

1b) superior, extraordinary, surpassing uncommon
1b1) pre-eminence, superiority, advantage, more
eminent, more remarkable, more excellent

Abounding is used of a flower going from a bud to full bloom.




• heart, broken hearted

1) the heart
1a) that organ in the animal body which is the centre of
the circulation of the blood, and hence was regarded
as the seat of physical life
1b) denotes the centre of all physical and spiritual life
1c) of the middle or central or inmost –part of anything,
even though inanimate

2a) the vigour and sense of physical life
2b) the centre and seat of spiritual life
2b1) the soul or mind, as it is the fountain and seat of
the thoughts, passions, desires, appetites,
affections, purposes, endeavours
2b2) of the understanding, the faculty and seat of the
2b3) of the will and character
2b4) of the soul so far as it is affected and stirred in a
bad way or good, or of the soul as the seat of the
sensibilities, affections, emotions, desires,
appetites, passions



• mouth, face, edge

1) the mouth, as part of the body: of man, of animals, of fish, etc.
1a) since thoughts of a man’s soul find verbal utterance by
his mouth, the ‘heart’ or ‘soul’ and the mouth are

2) the edge of a sword

This reminds me of:

Hebrews 4: 12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints an marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

I think I must join my brother, Job:

Job 40: 4 Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay mine hand upon my mouth.

And the Ephesians:

Ephesians 4: 29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

And the Psalmist:

Psalm 19: 14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Then, the Israelites:

Deuteronomy 30: 15,19 See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil…I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.

Deuteronomy 32: 1,2 Give ear, O ye heavens, and I will speak, and hear, O earth, the words of my mouth; My doctrine shall drop as the rain, my speech shall disti ast he dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb and s the showers upon the grass.



1) to utter a voice or emit a sound
2) to speak
2a) to use the tongue or the faculty of speech
2b) to utter articulate sounds
3) to talk
4) to utter, tell
5) to use words in order to declare one’s mind and disclose one’s thoughts
5a) to speak

How many times do you see "utter" in here? Oh, yes!


GUTTER: (Because my husband asked me…and I’m glad that he did.)

Gutter: A channel for carrying away water, as from the streets or from the eaves of a house; channel formed by running water. To flow as if from a gutter; to form channels in.

So, here’s the good news! We may have been in a gutter – B.C. (before Christ) but now - we are a channel to carry His waters and to lend ourselves to a fresh, clean, healing, stimulating flow that is HIS!

John 7: 37-39 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive; for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)

John 4: 13,14 Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again. But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

I know all of these things, very well! I've been knowing them for the past thirty years. I still have to choose, moment by moment, day by day, to stand in God's Word or to go back to the former way!

I have Bible, after Bible, after Bible, in my possession, marked and highlighted, showing all of the scriptures that I've educated myself with. I still have to choose to: COME OUT - by and with those scriptures, everyday!

Amos 3: 3 - How can two walk together, except they be agreed?

That's me, with God's Word! Whatever He says about me, once I'm in Him through Jesus Christ, I must agree with. I can't walk with Him otherwise!

Hebrews 11: 6 - But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.

We who are a part of the family of God, children of God through our acceptance of the finished work of Christ at Calvary and on our behalf; are expected by Him, to conform to His image and likeness!

Romans 12: 1,2 - I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world; but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect, will of God.


Look at this:

Ephesians 1: 17-19 - That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him; the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints. And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power.

Ephesians 2: 4 - 7 - But God who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in sins hath quickened us together with Christ [by grace ye are saved;] and hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus; that in ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 5: 17 - Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Colossians 2: 10 - 14 - And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power: in whom also ye are circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, in putting off the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ; buried with him in baptism, wherein also ye are risen with him through the faith of the operation of God, who hath raised him from the dead. And you hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses; blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to the cross...

Ephesians 4: 22- 24 - That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

It is to be a truly awesome life that we now live with God, in Christ Jesus, by the Word and by the Holy Spirit! We must choose to be filled with this knowledge and understanding and then to submit ourselves thereunto, in order that we might, respectively, see the fruit thereof!

Ephesians 3: 16 - 21 - That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God; now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

We truly are new creatures in Christ Jesus. Once we learn exactly what that means, our lives will be changed FOREVER!

No more gutter! No more gutter mutter! Not without a fight sometimes, though!

1 Timothy 6: 12 - Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.

2 Timothy 4: 7 - I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith...

Galatians 5: 1 - Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

Philippians 3: 7 - 14 - But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ; yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord; for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, and be found in him, not having mine own righteousness which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith. That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; if by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect but I follow after, if that,I may apprehend that for which I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended; but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Oh, I love the Word of God! Can you tell? It doesn't mean that I always attain unto it but I know what it says about me, in Him, and I know that if I continue to press toward that goal, I will in due season, reap the promises if I faint not!

There will be a fight over that Word planted in us but if we put up the good fight of faith, we will in the end, see the VICTORY! We must always press into believing; it is the only way to please God! Even if we don't see it now, we will see it, if we wait patiently for it with faith!

Gutter mutter is not for me, nor for any of you who are in Christ Jesus. Look up! Be delivered up by the Word of God! There are so many wonderful promises for us to attain unto.

So, yes, there is a coming out of a certain type for me, regarding ministry and all of the new avenues of extended outreach. At the same time, God is still honing me and trying to keep me in tact in the very coming out which serves as the core and purpose for ministry itself. Had He not brought me out of a spiritual darkness (blindness, if you will) I would have no story to tell, no song to sing and there would be nothing to minister about!

I've been delivered from the gutter and I dare not return! No matter what may come - I dare never return to those places from which He has already, graciously delivered me. I have, in some ways throughout these thirty years, fallen back in some areas. I can tell you that He is a Great Deliverer. And when you feel so terribly unworthy of any good thing from Him, He can come and take your hand and pull you out again.
People would leave you there. People would trample you into the ground, cover you up and move on without you and never give you a second thought. But not God the Father. Not Jesus the Son. And most definitely not the Holy Spirit of God. I don't believe, condone or promote the idea that grace is cheap or something to sport with; especially given the fact that Jesus paid for that grace with His very life! It is a fight, sometimes, to receive His great kindnesses and His goodness. The Bible states that it is His goodness that leads men to repentance.

If you've been locked out because of past failures
sins, err; call out to Him and never stop calling. I came to a place in my life once, where I claimed and cried aloud to Him, saying, "Lord, if I have to praise you from hell, I will." The enemy told me over and over and over again, that due to my failure along the way to what I deemed to be God's perfect will for my life, I would spend eternity in hell. After fighting that for such a good long time, finally, one day I just spoke the truth from my heart to Him. I would love Him, no matter where I loved Him from. That was and is to this day, the truth! When such an awesome Deliverer comes into your life with nothing short of an absolute Divine Miraculous Deliverance - you never, ever forget! Even if you feel unworthy to remember - you can never get away from it; away from Him!

Be encouraged today, to walk out of the gutter and to yield your heart, once again, to the One who truly loves you and has promised to never leave you nor forsake you! When all others count you unworthy, He remains true to His promise! He sticks closer than a brother. No matter what you may have done, if you're truly repentant before God, and you love God with your whole heart, you will have to continue to follow Him. You will be like Peter, when the Lord asked him if he would forsake Him with the others. Peter replied,"Lord, where will we go, for You have the Words of Life!" People will tell you that you might as well curse God and die; like Job's wife but if you've truly known God, you can't turn back, no matter what! And you will not be able to curse God, no matter what happens to you! You'll have no choice but to work through it somehow, with His help. You will have to overcome people's opinions and sometimes even defy them but you'll have to seek God's opinion, honor it and never defy it! He knows, He's listening and He's there to help and to save!

Izzy Herriette